I learned something today, and no my clinical instructors did not aid me in this learning. God did. And I know for those of you that will read this, my moment of revelation may be a "duh" one for you, but I still must share.
These past four weeks of clinicals have consumed me. My thoughts, my sleep, my actions. Literally, I am eating, sleeping and breathing nursing. My mom warned me of this beforehand. I feel so completely wrapped up in it, as if the rest of my life is a blur. While studying, my worries distract me and I start dwelling on the future, all the "what if's" etc. What if I don't succeed, what if I don't make it to graduation. What if I can't even perform my nursing skills completely and successfully. God spoke to me in a very powerful way this evening. He said, "my child, why do you fret, why do you worry, have I not been faithful? You worry so much and over such a small circumstance compared to the grand scheme of everything. Your abilities as a nurse do not change your relationship with me. The world will pass, but my love will not."
I stand so humbled. I was forgetting that God is sovereign, and ulitmately in control over every aspect of my life. Yes, I need to be focused and diligent while studying nursing, but I can't loose site of the end goal and what matters most - my relationship with God and spending eternity with Him.
Proverbs 3:5 (a favorite of mine)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths
Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an ends; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Can my brain take anymore?
It's week #4 and i'm still pushing along.
Quick update for the week
1. I start my clinical's this week! 7 am-1pm Wednesday/Thursday for the rest of this semester. Please pray that "everything" would go smoothly. My relationship with my patients, my ability to perform the tasks given to me. Pray tha tI would be able to think clearly and keep up with the pace.
2. I've felt "under the weather" for the past week, probably because i'm not sleeping enough. And since I have to be up at 5:00 am starting Wednesday, I know the likelihood of me catching up on sleep or getting enough is unlikely, since the workload won't be any less (homework and so forth)
3. I LOVE NURSING
4. I AM NERVOUS (haha)
5. I LOVE MY FAMILY (thank you for your support)
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY, I LOVE MY GOD. (thank you Jesus for all of your support, comfort and guidance)
well, back to work. Pharmacology is calling my name! :-)
Quick update for the week
1. I start my clinical's this week! 7 am-1pm Wednesday/Thursday for the rest of this semester. Please pray that "everything" would go smoothly. My relationship with my patients, my ability to perform the tasks given to me. Pray tha tI would be able to think clearly and keep up with the pace.
2. I've felt "under the weather" for the past week, probably because i'm not sleeping enough. And since I have to be up at 5:00 am starting Wednesday, I know the likelihood of me catching up on sleep or getting enough is unlikely, since the workload won't be any less (homework and so forth)
3. I LOVE NURSING
4. I AM NERVOUS (haha)
5. I LOVE MY FAMILY (thank you for your support)
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY, I LOVE MY GOD. (thank you Jesus for all of your support, comfort and guidance)
well, back to work. Pharmacology is calling my name! :-)
Monday, April 14, 2008
So far, so good
I'm on my third week of school, and loving every minute. And no, mom isn't behind me telling me to say that! :-)
I've also come to realize that God has more in mind for me (during nursing school) than just graduating and receiving my degrees.
1. He wants to give me a "one-life", and if my only accomplishment out of nursing school would be to reach one non-believer and by His grace, they turn to Him, then my time has been well spent.
2. He wants to grow me in my faith as well.
On a different note though, I had an absolutely amazing birthday, thanks to everyone who made it special! I feel so richly blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. When I was younger, I used to evaluate my birthdays on a scale from 1-10, 1 being I had an awful birthday, didn't receive the gifts I wanted etc, 5 lying somewhere in the middle, and 10 being it went perfectly, received exactly what I wanted, everyone was focused on me, and so forth. So selfish! My focus was on eternal things, and not God. I failed to realize that my birthday celebration should ultimately glorify the Lord! He was the one who gave me life, and who continues to allow me every wakening breath. He is the one who chose me for eternal life, and by His grace continues to mold me in the likeness of Christ. I celebrated this year, not because I was 21 and could legally drink, or because I received gifts and attention from others, but because my amazing Savior has blessed me this past year, and I know He will continue this coming year. I celebrated because God has helped me in my battle against huge sins over this past year, and grown me fonder for Him, His people and His word. I celebrated, because I was with the most important people during my birthday week, my family and my friends whom God has blessed me with. And that is what made this birthday memorable.
I've also come to realize that God has more in mind for me (during nursing school) than just graduating and receiving my degrees.
1. He wants to give me a "one-life", and if my only accomplishment out of nursing school would be to reach one non-believer and by His grace, they turn to Him, then my time has been well spent.
2. He wants to grow me in my faith as well.
On a different note though, I had an absolutely amazing birthday, thanks to everyone who made it special! I feel so richly blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. When I was younger, I used to evaluate my birthdays on a scale from 1-10, 1 being I had an awful birthday, didn't receive the gifts I wanted etc, 5 lying somewhere in the middle, and 10 being it went perfectly, received exactly what I wanted, everyone was focused on me, and so forth. So selfish! My focus was on eternal things, and not God. I failed to realize that my birthday celebration should ultimately glorify the Lord! He was the one who gave me life, and who continues to allow me every wakening breath. He is the one who chose me for eternal life, and by His grace continues to mold me in the likeness of Christ. I celebrated this year, not because I was 21 and could legally drink, or because I received gifts and attention from others, but because my amazing Savior has blessed me this past year, and I know He will continue this coming year. I celebrated because God has helped me in my battle against huge sins over this past year, and grown me fonder for Him, His people and His word. I celebrated, because I was with the most important people during my birthday week, my family and my friends whom God has blessed me with. And that is what made this birthday memorable.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The beginning of the next two years
Wow, I guess it has been a while since i've updated all of you. Where should I begin?
Jack - had an echocardiogram on March 21st, to see the results of his surgery, positive outcome or not. God has been so faithful, Jack's surgery was very successful and he may not need surgery for another 5+ years. He's a very healthy and active boy - loves to eat big boy food. He can sit up, roll around, stand up (with aid of couch etc) and He loves his Baby Einstein videos, especially the monkeys! I speak for myself personally, but I know the rest of my family would agree, we are so thankful to our Lord and Savior for keeping Jack safe, and sheltering him under the comfort of his wings. This circumstance has been faith building for sure and i'm grateful.
As for myself, I started nursing school last Tuesday (April 1st 2008). I had my first exam today, YAY I passed, and somehow managed to get one of the highest scores in my class. It's very fast paced, intense and overwhelming, but it's such an honor to be a part of it! This circumstance/situation (nursing school) is also very faith building. Every night this past week I had such incredible thoughts of doubt, I kept questioning my ability to succeed, even though I spent practically every waking moment studying. I found myself constantly submitting prayers to the Lord, and He (in his awesome nature) responded quickly, and aided me when I needed him most. He kept reminding me that He is for me, He is my God, and I should not fear. Least to say, even in this short amount of time (one week since starting) i've seen growth and God's activity in my life. Praise God!
I turn 21 on Thursday, ahhhh where have the years gone? Usually parents freak out about their "babies growing up", but I think it's more of a shock to me. Its been a good 21 years though, and i'm ready for another 21, I shouldn't get ahead of myself though, take it for today Brenna, take it for today.
Jack - had an echocardiogram on March 21st, to see the results of his surgery, positive outcome or not. God has been so faithful, Jack's surgery was very successful and he may not need surgery for another 5+ years. He's a very healthy and active boy - loves to eat big boy food. He can sit up, roll around, stand up (with aid of couch etc) and He loves his Baby Einstein videos, especially the monkeys! I speak for myself personally, but I know the rest of my family would agree, we are so thankful to our Lord and Savior for keeping Jack safe, and sheltering him under the comfort of his wings. This circumstance has been faith building for sure and i'm grateful.
As for myself, I started nursing school last Tuesday (April 1st 2008). I had my first exam today, YAY I passed, and somehow managed to get one of the highest scores in my class. It's very fast paced, intense and overwhelming, but it's such an honor to be a part of it! This circumstance/situation (nursing school) is also very faith building. Every night this past week I had such incredible thoughts of doubt, I kept questioning my ability to succeed, even though I spent practically every waking moment studying. I found myself constantly submitting prayers to the Lord, and He (in his awesome nature) responded quickly, and aided me when I needed him most. He kept reminding me that He is for me, He is my God, and I should not fear. Least to say, even in this short amount of time (one week since starting) i've seen growth and God's activity in my life. Praise God!
I turn 21 on Thursday, ahhhh where have the years gone? Usually parents freak out about their "babies growing up", but I think it's more of a shock to me. Its been a good 21 years though, and i'm ready for another 21, I shouldn't get ahead of myself though, take it for today Brenna, take it for today.
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