Self-Diagnosis

I have done a bit of researching yesterday and today - trying to figure out what I might have. It's just a guess though, because I could have a number of things. So, here we go, this is my self-diagnosis, we'll see on Monday if I'm right by any means

Duodenal Ulcers:

There may be no symptoms of ulcers or the individual may experience:

*A gnawing or burning pain in the abdomen between the breastbone and the navel. The pain is usually worse a couple of hours after a meal or in the middle of the night when the stomach is empty.
*Nausea
*Vomiting
*Loss of appetite
*Loss of weight
*Tiredness (a symptom of a bleeding ulcer)
*Weakness (a symptom of a bleeding ulcer)
*Blood in vomit or stool. When blood is in the stool, it appears tarry or black (symptom of a bleeding ulcer).

I have all of these symptoms except vomitting, though most of the time I feel like I could at any moment.

ALSO, on Monday I'm going to talk to my doctor about my frequent headaches/migraines. I'm not exactly sure what makes a headache qualify as a migraine, but I'm pretty sure i've had two this week. They are bad enough that i'm nauseous and the pain not only runs throughout my entire head but also into my neck, shoulders and down my back. I've had frequent headaches (sometimes four a week) for many many years. About time I get that checked out too.

Sometimes my body just doesn't want to work

I've put this post off for a while now - I was lacking humility, humility to ask for prayer. I've always been pretty self-sufficient, self-reliant (self, self, self etc.) when it comes to being sick. I've never approached it with the thought in mind that God is in just as much control over my physical being as my spiritual being. So I've been learning that I ought to be praying and submitting these fears and weaknesses to the Lord - AND become more humble to ask others to pray for me.

Let's go back to May 20th (finals week) - I'm figuring just from the wear & tear and stress of school I got incredibly sick. Ended up taking a nice visit to the doctor's - I was tested for mono but the results came back negative. Since the doctor's weren't sure what I had, they put me on a broad-spectrum antibiotic. Three weeks after this (and not getting any better at this point) I received an infection from the antibiotic. So from the end of may to the end of june there wasn't a whole lot of progress, and around June 25th I got hit with another "something". I lost my appetite again for another week and kept waking up with sharp pains in my stomach. Could it be an ulcer? The flu? Some fun GI (gastrointestinal) problem, my spleen? So, my mom picked me up so nice pro-biotics hoping to replenish all the good bacteria in my body that was swept clean when I was on the antibiotics.

I've been taking those for about 3 weeks now and haven't seen a huge improvement. I'm still waking up in the night with sharp pains in my stomach, i'm not eating that well, nor digesting things very well. I think i've put off the doctor's visit for long enough now. I have an appointment on Monday to see Dr. River's praying that he'll have an answer this time and that there will be quick recovery and healing.
It's rough getting up in the morning, takes me a good 5-6 hours to start feeling ok, and that's after i've popped some meds. It's come to the point, now that I've been feeling sick for 2 months, that my heart is easily discouraged. I'm worried that i'll be sick for the rest of the summer and into nursing school this fall.

BUT I know that my God is kind and good to me. And that if He is using this trial just to strengthen my love for Him, grow me in my faith, and to give Himself glory, then it is well within my soul.

Here's a couple ways you can be praying:
1) That my appointment would go well on Monday - i'll be sure to update everyone once I find out what the news is

2) That my heart would not grow weary

3) That I would not fear what's going to happen in the future regarding my health

4) That I would be quick to submit my fears and worries to the Lord

Thank you ALL who read my blog and pray for me!

His Heart (Strong & Healthy)

Jack went in yesterday for his echocardiogram, and his doctor says EVERYTHING looks GREAT! And that he doesn't need to come in for another appointment for atleast a year. Praise God! All of us are just thrilled, and so thankful for how God has extended his hand of mercy, love and grace to all of us. Amy and Dan took Jack out to Mcdonald's afterwards to celebrate - Jack got a cheeseburger and of course loved it! Our little boy is growing up!

Thank you for your prayers!

John Henrik

My nephew (whom I have spoken about often in my posts) is going in on friday to have another echocardiogram (a graphical image of the heart produced by an echocardiograph). For those of you that don't know, Jack has a heart condition (aortic valve stenosis) and he went through an intense catheter surgery in February to open up one of his valves that was deformed. This echocardiogram on Friday will prove or not prove that His past surgery was successful. If it wasn't successful, Jack will be facing more surgeries in the near future and eventually open heart surgery to replace his current valve with a mechanical one.

Please pray! I'll update on Friday once we hear the news.

Lost in Awe and Wonder

God has been doing such amazing things in my life just within these past two days. I've been asking for grace for each day, laying aside my fears of the future, and placing my trust in the Lord one day at a time. He has extended His almighty hand of grace and given me more than I've asked for. The Lord has left me in such a state of awe - there is so much HOPE not only to battle and conquer sins but also to fall more in love with my Savior, leaving behind the futile worries of this world and laying at the foot of the cross.

There are two songs that I've been spending a rather large amount of time singing to my Savior during my quiet times. I hope these words are encouraging to all of you!


Oh the Deep, Deep Love

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me
Underneath me, all around me
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above

Oh the deep, deep love
All I need and trust
Is the deep, deep love of Jesus

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore
How He came to pay our ransom
Through the saving cross He bore
How He watches o’er His loved ones
Those He died to make His own
How for them He’s interceding
Pleading now before the throne

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Far surpassing all the rest
It’s an ocean full of blessing
In the midst of every test
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Mighty Savior, precious Friend
You will bring us home to glory
Where Your love will never end

Lost in Wonder

You chose the cross with every breath
The perfect life, The perfect death
You chose the cross
Crown of thorns you wore for us
And crowned us with eternal life
You chose the cross
And though your soul was overwhelmed with pain
Obedient to death You overcame

CHORUS:
I'm Lost in wonder
I'm lost in love
I'm lost in praise forevermore
Because of Jesus' unfailing love
I am forgiven
I am restored

You loosed the chords of sinfulness
And broke the chains of my disgrace
You chose the cross
Up from the grave victorious
You rose again so glorious
You chose the cross
The sorrow that surrounded you was mine
"Yet not my will but yours be done" You cried

I'll Wait in the Love of Jesus

Though I don't like to admit it, admit it I shall. The future scares me. And while I sit here so excited to see what the Lord is going to bring about in my life, in my sin, I am quickly tempted to and often find myself mulling over and dwelling on all the "what if's" "why's" and "maybe's". Just as quickly, I find myself getting sick to my stomach, fearful that the Lord won't hear my cries and answer my prayers (for things now and in the future). The thought, "how is the Lord going to work this out?" often enters my mind.

But then He is so quick to remind me - BRENNA I'm going to give you grace for each day, take it one day at a time, leave the future alone. And it's so true, I should be asking for Grace for TODAY and not worry even about tomorrow's troubles.

And while I ask for grace for today, i'm going to wait in the love of Jesus. Waiting is hard enough, but when done without Jesus Christ and his unfathomable love, it is made even harder. I'm going to run to Jesus and wait in His arms of love.