PROVISION

TIME for an update! Another two months has past and a LOT has happened! There's really no excuse for delaying an update - especially now that i've been on Christmas Break for over a month eeps!

HIGHLIGHTS

• Made it through my second semester of nursing school (clinical portion) Thank you Jesus!
• My medical/health challenges and circumstances have been pretty manageable almost in a dormant (asleep) stage. Though I had bronchitis for a month and was a bad nursing student and didn't go in to see my doctor, it eventually turned into a bad case of pneumonia, but I am feeling much better.
• NATE came to visit me and the family December 28th - January 5th! What an awesome week! The first day Nate came out, Nate and my Dad went out for coffee to talk about our relationship and Nate basically asking dad permission to date/court me. SO Nate and I are officially courting (aka dating with the intentions of marriage) old fashioned term yes, but it's just helpful for us and for others to know that we are taking this seriously and it's not just a relationship to have with no purpose behind it.
• PATRICK WILLIAM BAKKEN - born January 12th 2009, 9 lbs. 6 ounces 2o 3/4 inches long, born to my sister and brother in law! That makes it nephew number two! Amy had an excellent labor and delivery only a few hours long - and she looked and felt great immediately after delivery and even the next morning. Thank you Jesus! Mom fly's out to visit next Thursday!
• Currently I am working full-time for the Ohrvalls while i'm on Christmas Break - classes/clinicals start up January 26th - and it's my Psychiatric Nursing rotation! OH BOY! aka i'll be in a psych ward!

SO, let me explain the title of my blog post. PROVISION. This word has constantly been on my mind as of lately, especially after Nate left me to go back to college. I know that God has placed this word on my heart and mind for a reason. And I truly believe God has wanted me to dwell and meditate on this idea of Him being my ultimate provider for a very specific reason. This word has brought me closer to my Savior and more and more thankful for how He has been my true provider for all of my life and specifically this past year. Let's take a look back over the last year.

• I sent in my application for nursing school and got in very quickly - which is RARE. GOD PROVIDED
• I have dealt with an immense amount of health/physical challenges over the last 6 months - but God still PROVIDED. He provided me with endurance, hope, peace, joy, and even strength to continue nursing school even when my professors told me to drop out due to my current circumstances
• For YEARS I had myself convinced that I would be single for the rest of my life, living with million cats all alone in a dark house (you know how the story goes). I certainly didn't believe that God had singleness in mind for me, I just lacked faith that there would ever be a guy out there for me. Here I am not even a year later and God has opened this wonderful door of me entering into a new relationship with a godly, loving, caring, sweet, kind man. GOD PROVIDED. God provided when and where and with whom He saw fit. I look back now and am truly able to see how it was only God's kindness that He didn't give me this longing when I first desired it and was in denial. He had much to grow in me and at that time it was not a good thing for me to have. (God does not withold good from his children), so at that time dating/courting wasn't a good thing for me therefore He was not witholding one ounce of his goodness from me at that particular time in my life.
• My goal throughout college has been NO LOANS. I was able to work during my first year of nursing school since it was just gen eds and pre reqs, but now that I'm in that actual clinical portion of school it is almost impossible to balance school (and do it well) and work at the same time. I've played around with the idea of getting a job many times at the hospital. So far though THE LORD HAS PROVIDED. And I have much faith that He will continue to do so. No I don't receive checks in the mail filled out to me - but God has provided many opportunities for me to continue nannying/babysitting during my breaks and what does this equal = enough money to get through college without LOANS.

I'm sure i'm missing many other ways that God has so kindly provided for me this past year - but these are one's that stick out in my mind. I take such comfort in knowing that I have a MIGHTY Savior who is completely and utterly in control of every aspect of my life.

Where did the last 2 months go?

Thank you Karen for sending me a gentle reminder that I desperately needed to update my blog! Yikes! 2 months since my last post?!

Where do I even begin? Well, in my last post I mentioned that I was going to go visit a doctor to address my unexplainable symptoms. Here's what's happened since then:

• Saw my primary physician - He recommended that I get a brain MRI
• Had my brain MRI and "they" the doctors found lesions on my brain
• The doctors thought my symptoms + brain lesions could be suspectible of Multiple Sclerosis
• So they sent me on my way to see a neurologist - I wasn't overly impressed with him.
• So I went and saw an MS specialist north a good two hours - excellent doctor!
• He ordered for me to have a spinal MRI to see if there were lesions there, and about 15 labs (bloodwork) to eliminate other problems like thryoid etc.
• Had my spinal MRI and bloodwork done and everything came back negative, as in they found nothing
• So for now they're saying it's not MS - I'm content with that, and willing to put everything on the back burner for a while and watch it from the sidelines. I'll re-address it if my symptoms continue to progress - I'll also have another brain MRI in about a year to see where things are concerning the lesions.
• Then two days later I started having lower GI bleeding with incredible abdominal pain.
• Went back to my doctor - He ordered for me to have an abdominal and pelvic CT scan
• They test came back negative - again they found nothing
• Went and saw a GI specialist - he ordered for me to DETOX - ate a lot of lean lean food for the week and drank two bottles of magensium citrate to flush my system out. I feel AMAZING! And all of my GI symptoms are gone.

It has been and was a very challenging semester for me - but you know what's beautiful about all of this, I look back on it and THANK GOD for it! He used this trial for my good - He used it for His glory, and he also used it to benefit me and others in the Christian realm.

Nursing school is going incredibly well - I'm excited by it every day and fall more in love with it even as things progressively get harder. On Friday I had my first OR (operating room) day. I got to observe a triple bypass (open heart surgery), a craneotomy (brain surgery where they removed a tumor from the frontal lobe) and a colon (large intestine) resection. To say the least, it was absolutely thrilling! I've always thought that i'd eventually go into LND (Labor and Delivery) but now I'm thinking I just might gravitate towards the OR. Only time will tell!

I'm going to be an aunt again in less than 2 months - Amy is due on New Years!

Nate comes out in 5 weeks! Who's nate you ask? Feel free to ask me and I'm more than willing to share!

Leaving tomorrow morning for Ohio! It's a long-standing tradition (literally since I was a little girl) - we spend Thanksgiving with mom's side of the family every year - it's our favorite holiday, yes even over Christmas!

Well - I need to get packing for tomorrow - hopefully it won't be another 2 months before I write again!

Time For An Update

Sorry friends, for not updating my blog in a while. Nursing school has got the best of me, and it doesn't allow for anything beyond class, clinicals, studying and maybe sleep once in a while. =D

But alas I just finished my IM (intramuscular) injection return demonstration in the skills lab, and I have 20 minutes before lecture starts.

SO what's new.

It has been a FULL semester so far, much harder than last semester - but come on going from a nursing home to a hospital, only asks for it. I LOVE IT THOUGH. The Lord has been teaching me to literally take it one step at a time, last semester I got so caught up in "how will I get through all of this" aka "how will I make it out alive", and God, in His kindness, has helped me to focus on TODAY, even dividing that down to "get through lecture" "get through clinicals" "get through studying" and so on. God has given me much grace and through that i've been able to achieve much and find success. Thank you Lord!

I'm also learning to ENDURE with JOY. I wasn't sure for a while what that would look like. I mean, how can I have joy when most nights I'm only getting a couple hours of sleep, or sometimes pulling all-nighters just to get my work done, and then have to wake up at 4:30 for clinicals, and repeat the same all over again. Some mornings my stomach feels raw and my body shakes, I can only imagine from lack of sleep, but the question is, HOW do I endure with joy? Here's how, I wake up, and I preach truth to myself. I thank God first and foremost for giving me the opportunity to be in nursing school. Then I look back and see God's past Grace that he has given me for moments just like this. Then I pray and anticipate that God will hear me and answer. And he does, he always does. Within moments, my symptoms are gone, I feel strengthened and ready for the tasks ahead of me.

Pray requests:
* I'm currently having some new health issues. The left side of my body (arm and leg) have been randomly falling asleep (loss of sensation), i'm dizzy frequently, my hearing has been bad (lots of high pitched ringing) and my eyesight has also been bad (loss of peripheral vision at times, very fuzzy, sometimes I see black spots). And my headaches have been bad even while taking amytriptaline (prescribed migraine medicine). I went in yesterday to see my doctor, he ran a few blood tests, and I'm having an MRI on Monday 9/29 at 4:45 pm. If the blood tests and MRI come back negative, i'll have to visit a neurologist.

Off to lecture, it's time for fluids and electrolytes!
Thanks for all of your prayers and support, I'm blessed to know each and everyone of you

A Glance at Fall 2008

8/25/08 - I started my classes & clinicals back up - first week was AMAZING. God has been so kind to me and has made the transition very easy in a fast paced and stressful situation. I love my profs and I can't wait to get my hands dirty. I start clinicals next thursday at the hospital (med/surg floor)

8/30/08 - Grace turned 12!

9/9/08 - Mom turns 50! GO MOM!

9/9/08 - 9/18/08 - Amy, Dan and Jack come out for a visit

9/12/08 - Jack (our nephew) turns 1!

10/17/08 - FINALS and fall break!

God has given me GRACE

Today has been so refreshing to me. I went to church anticipating that the Lord would meet with me during the time of worship and message, and meet me He did. How encouraging is it to know that the Lord is ready to aid us - but do we have faith to ask and anticipate that He will?

The title of today's message was "The Last Day & Perservering Faith Today"

Passage: Hebrews 10: 26-39

Main Point: The passage is here to show us that the last day calls for us to have ongoing perserverence today.

Why? Because we have a better possession in Christ (heaven one day). This alone is worth far more than anything this world has to offer us.

So, how does this pertain to me? Well, within the last year, I would say I have endured a few trials.
* My knee surgery (waiting a year for workman's comp to approve the surgery)
* Waiting to get into nursing school
* Jack (my nephews) diagnosis of a heart defect (Mitral Valve Stenosis) & surgery
* My on-going health issues this summer
* Emily's Diabetes I (juvenile) diagnosis last Sunday

But have I endured these trials with JOY? not always. but I CAN and I SHOULD endure each and every trial with joy, faith and trust in my almighty Savior.

What do I need to start doing? View my trials in light of eternity!
This passage in Hebrews should encourage me to keep trusting in Jesus Christ and motivate me to keep from drifting!

I am encouraged. The Lord has given me such grace today, how my heart wants to sing for joy!

I lift my eyes up ...

Last sunday (8/17) I was in Ohio at King's Island with a few friends of mine. I had made the trip out to Ohio on Friday to visit them before summer came to an end. After the fun-filled day at the amusement park we headed to the car and I called my mom to see how everyone was doing. She picked up the phone and I could hear in her voice that something was incredibly wrong. She told me that Emily was in the ICU (intensive care unit) and that she had Diabetes I (juvenile).

Earlier that week mom had noticed some unusual things in Emily (excessive thirst and weight loss) and suspected something was wrong. So, earlier that morning at church she had a friend (who is also diabetic) bring his glucose meter (which checks your blood sugar levels) to test emily's blood sugar levels to see if diabetes was a possibility. So away they checked and quickly found out that Emily was in serious trouble. A good blood sugar level should be somewhere around 100, she was at 510. They immediately rushed her to the ER and the doctors quickly sent her to the ICU. I'm so thankful that the Lord gave my mom these hunches, because in most cases you find out that someone has juvenile diabetes when they go into a coma first. God spared Emily and i'm so grateful.

Emily spent Sunday and Monday in the ICU and is now home learning how to cope and adapt.

For those of you that don't know, juvenile diabetes is the most rare and the most serious of cases compared to diabetes II, monogenic diabetes and gestational diabetes. And it's also irreversible unlike diabetes II

Type 1 diabetes occurs when the body's immune system attacks and destroys certain cells in the pancreas, an organ about the size of a hand that is located behind the lower part of the stomach. These cells -- called beta cells -- are contained, along with other types of cells, within small islands of endocrine cells called the pancreatic islets. Beta cells normally produce insulin, a hormone that helps the body move the glucose contained in food into cells throughout the body, which use it for energy. But when the beta cells are destroyed, no insulin can be produced, and the glucose stays in the blood instead, where it can cause serious damage to all the organ systems of the body. For this reason, people with type 1 diabetes must take insulin in order to stay alive. This means undergoing multiple injections daily, or having insulin delivered through an insulin pump, and testing their blood sugar by pricking their fingers for blood six or more times a day.

When I first found out that Emily was in the ICU my heart stopped, tears poured and I asked God three things. WHY diabetes Lord? WHY am I here in Ohio and not home with her? WHY are you giving me another challenge?
Even though I don't understand at times why the Lord chooses to do things, there are a few things that I do know and understand at my God.

My God is sovereignly in control. God loves Emily. My God does all things to bring himself glory. And if God wants to use this situation to bring himself glory, then glory I shall give Him.

It's been a hard week, i'm not going to lie. But in the midst of cloud that seems to hover over my head, the Lord shines through and is giving all of us faith, hope and trust. For now and for Emily's life in the future.

I finally came home on wednesday, mom picked me up at the airport. As I walked out I caught mom's eyes and started bawling. Mom said, "Stop, Emily doesn't want you to cry." So, I cried the whole ride home from midway, and composed myself before getting out of the car. I can't tell you how bitter-sweet it felt to be home, I dropped my luggage and went up to Emily's room, sat on her bed (she was asleep) and held her hand and told her how much I loved her and how much I missed her. God has blessed me with such an amazing set of parents and such lovely sisters that I adore.

The Lord is going to do great things through this challenge and I am going to wait and readily expect them. God is good.

Amitriptyline - not an antidepressant

In reference to my post earlier this afternoon, I just want to clear up any confussion that I might have made. I mentioned that I am currently taking amitriptyline for my migraines - well if any of you type that word into google you'll quickly see that it's used as an antidepressant. When my doctor first prescribed to me this medication he was quick to mention that even though it was first marketed as an antidepressant it is no longer being used for that purpose because it wasn't working for depression and was rather solving migraine/headache problems. He didn't want me worrying thinking that he had put me on antidepressants. So no i'm not on any type of antidepressants - just wanted to clear that up in case any of you were curious. :-)